No one ever asked me...

No one ever asked me to start having sex in college before I was married.
     But I did it anyways…

No one ever asked me if it was ok with me to get pregnant out of wedlock. If I was strong enough to handle it. Did I even think this could happen.
     But they did ask me if I was ready to be a Mom. At that time the words stung and shocked me.  I didn't want think about it; I didn’t even want to consider it.

No one ever asked me why I started missing classes in college. Why I wore huge bulky sweatshirts in May. Why I missed the weekly Bible studies I had attended for so long. Why I locked myself in my room for hours on end, eating away my emotions.
     But you know what, I didn’t want them too. I didn’t want to face the judgment, the shame I knew was coming. I wouldn’t have to if I hid in the dark.

No one ever asked me if I was scared.
     But I was. So scared I flip-flopped everyday on whether adoption or marriage was the correct answer. So scared I cried myself to sleep at night on my pillow.  I would've lied to them anyway.

No one ever asked me if I truly loved Andrew.
     But I hope no one had to. I hope they could see if on my face. I hope they don’t think we only got married because it was forced on us.

No one ever asked me how they were to act around me. How they could accept this mistake from me.
     But I was blown away with the love that flowed my way when I stepped out of the shadows. I am forever grateful to those friends and families.

No one ever asked me if I loved my Leah.
     But I know they could see that in my face, in my eyes, in the way I lived my life.

No one ever asked me what I’m going to do with my story now.
     But I thought about it. I’m going to share it. I’m going to laugh about. I’m going to cry about it. And maybe one day I’ll be able to share it with other young girls. And maybe one day I will affect someone out there.

No one ever asked me if I wanted my life to turn out this way.
     But it doesn’t matter. I love the life I have been given. Sure, it can be complicated. Sure, we have our struggles. None of that matters because it is my life, and I always remember that God never hands you anything you can’t handle.

Brought to you by prompt #5 from Mama Kat's workshop...5.) Why didn’t they ask you? Write a list of 5 or 10 sentences that begin with the words ‘No one ever asked me’; then, write about one of them in detail, or use them all in a poem, or use several in a personal description of yourself.