How do you know?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

uummm...

When I was 5 I wanted to be a veterinarian -- until I learned you had to put animals to sleep.
When I was 11 I wanted to be a flight attendant
When I was 16 I wanted to be a genetic counselor
When I was 19 I wanted to be a research scientist / professor at a college

When I was 21 I got pregnant ... when I was 22 I got married.  I finished my bachelors of science and now I am a tech in a university.

But it's not what I want to be when I grow up...

This job is different than I thought it would be.  It's not harder; it's not easier.  It's just different.  I enjoy science.  I enjoy working in a lab.  I just don't think it's what I want to be doing for the next 30 years.

Plus I'm kinda stuck here.  To move up in this world I either need a higher degree or more experience.  To make more money I either need a higher degree or more experience.

So about a year and a half ago I sat down to really think about what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.  I know it is not to be a scientist.  I'm just not cut out for that job.  I don't think the way that my boss does, and I'm fine with that.

But what about teaching?  My mom is a teacher, and I personally think it is the best job to have if you have kids.  You get the summer off with them, you are home in the afternoons.  It just works well.

I could teach science!  I'm cool with that, but I need an educational degree ... I'm gonna kinda shorten it here for yall:
--found a wonderful university online to get a Masters in Education (recommended from a friend at church as well)
--found out I needed a credit I didn't take in college before I could enroll in their Masters program
--that credit was offered in a DANTES test, so I signed up for it
--failed the test by 1 point

you have to wait at least 6 months before you can take a credit-worthy test again

--was told this university would not allow me to get a Bachelors of Education because I already had a degree
--signed up to take the test again (June 3, 2010)

Today, I got an email telling me that the testing center at TSU is canceling the test for tomorrow because of a family emergency of the proctor (person who leads the tests) and they don't know when or if she will be back.  They are sending me a refund.

How do I know this isn't a way that God is telling me I shouldn't be a teacher?  I mean if this is where I'm supposed to be, if I'm going to be a teacher one day, why is it so hard?  Did I mess up?  Did I miss something somewhere?

or it could just be the devil trying to put doubt in my mind.

How do you know?  How do I know what I supposed to be when I grow up?

Where's my sign?

I know a job doesn't make me who I am; it doesn't define me, but I don't want to be at a job that I hate or I don't like going to.  and I wish I could be a stay-at-home mom, but that's just not in my family's good fortune right now.

I applied for an industrial job last week.  **fingers crossed**

I want to be a teacher one day.  I want to teach science in either a high school or community college.  One day I will be a teacher...I think?

Oh, how do you know?

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"  And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"
-Isiah 6:8


²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^[b]?
-Matthew 6:25-27