Telepathy

If I think really really hard, can I tell that person over there what I'm thinking? No? Well, I can write it down though...

• to the person who does not use their turn signal in traffic (yeah you know who you are), you annoy me. I shoot you with my finger gun when you cut me off. I also give you really dirty looks when we decide to change into the same lane at the same time, and I stop because I'm paying attention
• to my husband's Aunt...it's c-h-r-i-s-t-Y...not IE. and really, because if you look up, my name is written right above where you misspelled it. really, what is your excuse for misspelling someone's name on their facebook page?
• to all the larger women out there (I feel ya! I love me some chocolate...too much lately) dress your size honey! you are a beautiful girl, but you don't need to be wearing skin tight shirts that hug every flattering and non-flattering curve.
• and on that note...larger guys - I don't like seeing your tummy flop out of your too short shirt
• to you skinny girls out there who think wearing spandex pants with a thong and a shirt that doesn't cover your butt is cool, I can see your butt jiggle every time you walk
• to the guy who likes to ride right on top of the back of my car, leave me alone. sometimes I like going the speed limit! I have two precious lives in my car too, so just go around me already. Oh, and I give you the dirty look too when you fly by me
• to the person who makes the stupid Charter buses I ride in from the parking lot to my building, your seats make me uncomfortable almost every morning. Two anerexia girls couldn't even fit in your seats without practically sitting on top of each other. I think you should have to ride to work every day next to the lady with 8 bags and too much perfume.
• and to the lady with too much perfume...you really can't smell that badly without it! how about tomorrow you try 2 squirts instead of 200!!!! oh, and if you don't know if you are one of those ladies/men, if people sneeze, cough or tear up when you walk into the room...you are!
• to my coworker, please don't randomly talk to yourself out loud. I'm not sure to ignore you or comment on what made you just cry out "Oh wow..."
• to the people who have the bass so loud my heart hurts, I'm glad you enjoy your loud music and don't care about your hearing, but really does it have to be that loud? your car does not need to rock up and down from the vibrations, and I really don't need to hear the bass from the song you are playing. and the next time you park outside my apartment with your bass turned up presumably waiting on someone late at night, I will come kick your ass butt in my pajamas.
• to the elephants boys who live above me, you run, walk, stomp so loud my two year old used to ask "what that sound mommy?" and now she just points up and says "they are loud". just sit still after 9pm. it's hard enough to get her to go to sleep with my chandaler and pictures shaking every minute!

So if you see me with a very concentrated look on my face you should wonder what you are doing wrong because I'm sending you little notes through my telepathy.