War Damn Friday

Football season is so close I can feel it!  I am so ready for football this year ... college, pros, fantasy, but mainly AUBURN FOOTBALL

and I am SO sick that the whole freakin' world is now a bama fan

barf

So, for my regular followers and Friday visitors I am starting your weekend off right ... because Friday's kinda like the weekend?  Oh well ... here are some Bammer jokes for your ammusment!

yes I know these jokes can easily be switched by replacing a few words ...
yes joking is all in fun ...


How do you get an University of Alabama graduate off the front porch?
Pay him for the pizza!

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an Alabama fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Alabama fans too. Not really knowing what an Alabama fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air.


There is, however, one exception. A little girl named Jane has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not an Alabama fan" she reports. "Then, " asks the teacher, "what are you?" "I'm a proud Auburn Fan" the girl said! The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red.


She asks Jane, "Why are you an Auburn Fan?" "Well, my Dad and Mom are Auburn fans, so I'm an Auburn fan, too, " she responds. The teacher is angry now. "That's no reason, " she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?" Jane smiles and says, "Then we'd be Alabama fans"


A guy went to Tuscaloosa and picked up one of those new Mercedes. He was testing it out in the parking lot, turned on the radio and nothing happened. Furious, he demanded to see the plant manager, and told her "When i buy a $50,000 car i expect the *@ radio to work." 
The plant manager explained to him that the radio had been programed to his voice and all he had to do was tell the radio what he wanted to hear. Pretty neat stuff.
He got back into the car and said "Country music", and old Willie started singing. "Rock and Roll", he exclaimed, and immediately Elvis started crooning. "Easy listening", he remarked, and all at once it sounded like he was in an elevator.
He was relaxed, driving up I-59 to Birmingham, and listening to smooth sounds. Then a pickup truck with two good ole boys almost ran him off the road. "Stupid rednecks!" he screamed.
The radio immediately blurted out, "TOUCHdooooooooown AllaBAAAAAAAmaaa!!!!"


What do a maggot and an Alabama fan have in common?

They can both live off of a dead bear for 20 years

and the best joke of all isn't really a joke ... but the truth!

WAR EAGLE!