Monday, October 4, 2010

Roaches and 6am do not mix

I hate bugs ... I hate cockroaches a bit more.

and apparently the further south you go the more cockroaches you get ... at least that's another reason Andrew is trying to persuade me to move up North.

This morning when I go to the bathroom to shower, I am greeted by a roach lying on its back in the bathtub.  My foggy morning brain sees the presumably dead roach and devises a brilliant plan.  I'll just turn the water on; he will slide down the drain, and I can take my shower without even having to go near him.

Well, I should have hit him with a shoe first because apparently ... he was just sleeping.  The water hit this bug; he flipped and flopped and turned himself over and started crawling out of the tub.  I made a bee line back to the bed.

I sat on the bed ... at 6am ... next to my sleeping bug-killing husband, and considered just skipping the shower this morning.  Although I am still new, and I don't want them thinking I don't shower, and I really needed a shower ... I came up with a new plan.

I was going to kill the roach.

**important background information** I scream when I am startled ... can't help it; it's just a reaction with me

So I slowly open the bathroom door; my husbands shoe cocked and ready to be thrown at the roach.  A quick search of the floor reveals that he is not down there.  I move the shower curtain; ready for him to jump out when I look up.  There he is perched on the shower curtain rod, probably contemplating how he is going to jump on my head.

What do you do to a roach thats above your head balancing on a thin rod?  Well, you throw the super heavy shoe at it of course.  He went flying somewhere, and I screamed and ran back to my bed.

I woke Andrew up with my scream.

"What's wrong!"

"There's a roach in the bathroom!  I tried to kill it with the shoe, but I failed and he ran at me"

"Oh.  You screamed like there was a man eating spider attacking your face."

So, I sat on the bed and waited for my bug-killing husband to go kill the roach.  He asked me where it was; I don't know ... running out of there was more important.

I heard the toilet flush ... him pee ... and the flush again.

"Did you kill it?"

"Yes."

"But you didn't use a shoe.  Did you find it?"

"yes and I flushed it"

He crawled back in bed, pulled the covers up, and I turned around to see him smiling as he was going back to sleep.

"You're smiling!  Did you not find the roach and then just flush the toilet to make me think you killed the roach?"

"No, I killed the bug.  I'm smiling because you are crazy."

Well ... 6 am and roaches apparently make me go a bit crazy ...


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7 comments:

  1. I get yhat you are crazy smile all the time!!!! Heehee! And I'm with you on the bugs! Yuck!!

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  2. oh he sounds like my hubby, who I don't *think would ever not kill a bug and let me think he did, but I always wonder when he comes out with a grin on his face, or his hands cupped like the bug is in them.
    hope the rest of the day is better

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  3. LOL...I would be screaming my head off

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  4. Thanks for the laugh. i don't like spiders...especially not the kind that attack YOU as you try to hit them with a shoe. I came armed at one with HAIRSPRAY recently. Stupid thing...tried jumping at me but he was STUCK...to himself. Tee hee. Then dh got rid of him. Note to self...dh is more afraid of spiders than you are. LOL

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